Derik

I have been going through my pictures that are on my computer that I have scanned or transfered from cell phones, and ran across several fun pictures of Derik. So I thought I'd share them.

Ok, note to self, go back and put titles on each of the pictures. lol. I'll be back to finish this.

Eureka!!! Struck Gold!

After almost a month and a half of wiggling and pushing and pulling and tugging, Derik's stubborn tooth has finally "left the building." Yesterday afternoon around 1pm, we checked his tooth, and it was so loose that it would get stuck in odd positions. I tried having him eat "Now and Later" candies since it was suggested that we should try it, but as I feared, the boy would eat them with his side teeth. I tried getting a wash cloth and pulling, and it was still a no-go. The tooth was so loose that it was ready to come out. Finally, my sleep deprived brain had a flash of inspiration. Why not try twisting? So that is what we did. I started twisting and turning the tooth in his mouth. I was afraid that he wasn't going to let me do it because he was really worried that it would hurt. In the space of about 30 seconds, the tooth was out! FINALLY! He is definitely going to have to go to the dentist and get braces at some point in the future. His new tooth that is already coming in, is positioned extremely far back in his gums.

After Derik's tooth came out he was so excited, until he saw the blood. With some fast thinking and talking on my end, his hysteria was soon forgotten with the ideas of $$MONEY$$. He was very quickly able to forget that he was bleeding and now focus on the money the tooth fairy was going to bring him. It was so very hard to keep him from playing with his tooth. I just told him that if he lost the tooth, the tooth fairy wouldn't come bring him money. That thought kept him on the straight and narrow.

Shortly after we extracted his tooth, (haha, love the big word? lol) it was time to take Lexie to the doctor. She inherited her daddy's sensitive skin. For the past week or so, we have been fighting a really bad diaper rash. At one point the rash had developed into a yeast infection. I had some left over thrush medicine that I use on her butt to get rid of the yeast. It worked, but before we got the meds on her butt, she had gotten 3 pretty bad sores. So the appointment was to see what can be done to get rid of the sores. The doctors verdict was that, yes, the yeast infection was the problem that caused the sores, but since it was now gone, the sores had now changed to a bacterial infection. She gave me a perscription for both, the thrush medicine, and also ointment to help the sores. I have a couple of errands that I have to run in a little while, so I will be stopping by Walmart on the way out and dropping off the prescriptions.

I also heard back from my financial aid worker about the status of my pell grant. He said that the reason my money is being delayed is because I switched from one school to another. That switch has to have 30 weeks between, so students do not defraud the government. They are still looking into trying to get my money to me faster, but nothing is guaranteed. So on August 24, Derik will start 1st grade at his old school, Paul E. Culley Elementary. We moved out of the school's zone in June, but I don't want him to go to the new school since we are going to be moving out of state soon. I know he needs as much stability as possible and it's going to be hard enough on him to go to another new school in a couple of months, so I would much rather keep the changes to a minimum. His school is about the same distance from our current apartment as it was from our last. It actually doesn't take as long to get there because I can avoid a lot of traffic since I am going a different direction. He is going to be in Ms. Gallegos class, in room 13. This year he has been assigned track 9, which is the 9 month school, not that it really matters since we will be leaving the area in a couple of months.

Derik wasn't the only one with exciting news, Lexie had 2 new breakthroughs. The first one was that she has finally learned how to blow kisses. It was really sweet. As we were leaving to go to the doctor's, I told her to blow daddy kisses, and I showed her by doing it myself. Then I put her hand to her mouth and said again, blow kisses. Then I said blow kisses one more time, trying to encourage her to do it herself. Lo and behold, she did! She put her pudgy little hand up to her mouth and said MUH AHH! It was too cute! Now of course daddy was busy doing something else, so he didn't actually see her do it, but we were able to get her to repeat the gesture, just not the sound. The other cute thing she did, was while we were waiting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, there were several small children there. She kept going up to these little girls and giving them kisses. LOL. The first little girl was so not fond of Lexie's love. LOL. She just cried and cried. The other little girl didn't care. I tried to get pictures of it, but she would do it at odd times, and my battery was almost dead in my phone so I wasn't able to leave my phone on camera so I could wait for that moment. It truly was sweet!

Over the last couple of months, I have noticed that my legs have started swelling considerably. The swelling has usually been in just my feet, but last night I noticed that it has increased up to my knees. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't have health insurance, so it's not like I can just go to the doctor to see what's wrong. There is a very good chance that many many tests will need to be ran to figure out why my feet and legs are swelling. I'm afraid that I'm loosing the circulation in my legs, because my feet will be ice cold quite often. I really hope it's not my heart that is having issues. I think if the swelling is as bad tomorrow as it was last night, I will probably have to go to the UMC (urgent medical center) and have them check me out. It's just not normal to have feet and legs the size of a watermellon. It's not normal to walk and feel the fluid sloshing around in my feet. It's not normal to have indentations in my feet just from having them crossed.

Well, I guess my time is up. The kids have been very impatient waiting for me to finish typing. They just do not understand, that by not bugging me while I am working, I can actually get things done a lot faster, then if I have stop every 30 seconds and referee a fight between them, or answer questions that have been answered 300,000,000 times, or whatever else they are doing instead of listening...

toodles!

Reflections

Why is it that most good intentions seem to go undone? My plan was to get up early, get the kids breakfast, go run a few errands, take the baby to the doctor, then take the kids swimming. So far, none of that has happened. I did get up and make a doctor's appointment for Lexie. She has a pretty good rash on her hiney that just won't go away. My good mood from last night seems to have disappeared while I slept. Maybe it's because I only got 4 hours of sleep? The kids have been up for a couple of hours, and are already on my last nerve. How do I get out of this funk? Why do I not want to spend time with my kids? I feel like such a bad parent. I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay in bed, and sleep all day. Maybe if I could get a full 8 hours of sleep I wouldn't be quite so cranky.

I miss having a life. I miss knowing that I had to get up in the mornings at a certain time and go to work. I miss being able to know where my life is leading. I miss the structure. Not having a job and having no real life is really hard. The last time I was jobless, it didn't bother me. I was very happy not having a job when Derik was a baby. Why is it so hard on me this time? I feel like I am actually doing more with my life right now, I'm going to school (although right now I really would like to smack them... HARD!) I do have goals, and am working towards them. Maybe its the fact that I don't have any friends to hang out with, that I don't have any money so I can't go anywhere. That I really hate living in Las Vegas. I don't know. I do know that everything has been so much harder for me since I found out that I was pregnant with Lexie. I don't regret having her, but everything has just been super stressful!

I started scrapbooking a few weeks ago, hoping that if I was doing creative things, it might help me in my quest to find fulfillment. I don't know if it has or not. I do know that I am now broker then I was before because i keep spending money on supplies. :^)

I plan on leaving the house in twenty minutes to go to derik's school and make sure that he is registered and all set up for the new school year. School starts on August 24. Since we are going to be moving very soon, I figure I'll leave him in his old school so he can go to school with the kids that he already knows. He's going to have to adjust to being the new kid soon, why make him adjust twice. Hopefully once he is able to go back to school next week, things with him will start to settle down.

Inspiration

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster day. It is a day, that has been full of anger, sleep deprivation, humility, and inspiration. Over the course of the last few days, I have been extremely sleep deprived between Lexie having sleep issues; my downstairs neighbors having extremely loud fights in the middle of the night; stress about Derik trying to leave and possibly getting hit by a car, or worse, or taken away from me by CPS; relationship problems; moving problems; and just plain insomnia.

Because of the sleep problems, I have been in a really cranky mood. The kids want to be kids, and I'm not dealing well with it. Because of Derik's wandering off problem, I made the decision to move to Thatcher, AZ so that I can be closer to family, and the kids will have the opportunity to actually be kids again. I can allow them to go outside and play and have fun without worrying that something is going to happen to them. That dream of leaving this week or next was dashed to pieces by a simple phone call. When I called to check on the status of my Pell Grant Money, I was advised that I would not be able to get my money until at least October. This was not what I wanted to hear. My children need to escape from Las Vegas badly, and so do I. This news wouldn't have been so bad had I not been told I should have the money "in the next couple of weeks" and made plans for that money. Our plan to move has not been thwarted, just delayed. I know that moving is the right decision, and that everything happens for a reason. What that reason is, I do not know. Hopefully Heavenly Father will help me understand why it is that it is happening this way.

I was given a break from the kids tonight, my first real break in a long time, and it was wonderful. I could have stayed away longer, but doing things by myself has never really been something that I enjoy. I don't mind being alone, and going out, but if I have someone that I truly care about and love, I would much rather spend that time with them, and do these things together. I decided to go watch the movie "The Proposal" but missed the showing, and didn't want to wait. The ticket taker suggested I try "Julie and Julia" and that is what I did. At first it was really wierd that I was the only person in the theater, but I have been alone in theaters before, so it really wasn't that big of a deal. I arrived about 30 minutes before the show began, and after spending time checking my facebook account on my phone, and chatting with my niece Tiana, the movie started. It was a great inspiration. It made me realize that even though right now I feel like my life is very empty, it isn't. I have two wonderful children who love me dearly. I have a man that is standing by my side and supporting my decisions, even if these decisions are not easy for him. I also realized that only I can fill my life with happiness. Instead of waiting for life to happen, I need to take charge of my life and make life happen for me.

This is the last week of my first set of classes at the University of Phoenix. Taking classes from UOP may have been a mistake, but they are a mistake that is leading me in the right direction. As mad as I am with them right now, I will continue with my education and get my degree and become an Elementary teacher. I have a goal to be finished in 2 1/2 years. I will have to work very hard, but I do know that I can do it! I know it without a doubt! When the stress gets to me, I am going to come here and vent about my life, so that I will no longer be taking my anger out on my kids (not in the physical sense, but in the "I can't deal with you sense.") My life is mine and mine alone. I have to make it right, not just for me but for my babies.